“What I Say And What I Mean”

Walking from the past

But I don’t think I’ve said my goodbyes

Sometimes I just find That they keep

sneaking up from behind Closing up the wounds

I suppose it’s supposed to take some more time

Then what do I find That we’ve closed every door in our lives
And I know you’re the only one for me

But standing in my sleep
Never going back and forth I’m only going forward

That’s what I keep saying Never going back and forth

only going back That’s what I mean
Something haunts my dreams Don’t know what it means
Itching at the scabs Only makes my troubles run high

Cuz scratching at my sheets

Makes my bark much worse than my bite Itching for a fight

As your nails are running over my spine

Cuz the doors are open And they keep swirling back to my mind
But I know you’re the only one for me

But standing in my sleep…

“A Years”

Just opened my eyes, stretching my body as I’m still lying on my bed staring at nowhere! Suddenly my tears started to fall and felt pain within, how could this be happening? I’ve been tru this for sometime, anxiously I’m having this heart felt pain…As I realize time had pass, its been a years, that I said to myself “I’ll get over with this”. But it seems saddly I keep on falling and failing, how can it be possible for someone to feel too intense, and never even move forward! It’s been 5 years,still it’s the same person who makes me extremely happy and miserable. Just a thought of him at countless times makes me realize that I was never good enough…At this actual moment I have learn to accept that 5years of waiting and wanting that love to florish and blossom will never turn to reality, fairytales doesn’t come true or maybe it’s better to say it’s not meant to happen. I need to simply let it go, and try to step forward even if, it means a day to day struggle.
Look at me now? People see me with a vivacious persona, an endless cheerful smile, you see me with few worries on my back and rarely do care about defeat and depression. Once, I fail surely I’ll get back on my feet more firm though it may have left battered,bruised & scarred. All those hardships, betrayals, disappointments esp. After loosing my dad made me a stronger person! I more appreciate the beauty of life together with its tragedies and uncertainties. Hey, Life itself is not perfect so do KARISMA!
Nevertheless, I still believe that my time will come. I’ll walk that same isle that you women have walked at. Exchanging I do’s while wearing that white wedding gown too. I’ll see friends and relatives on occassions together with my man carrying our bundle of joy…one day. hopefully at this lifetime…

Treasure all the moments you have.....

This title used to be my favourite phase...& i do feel the truthness of it
At times i try to really do just that....but sometimes things comes in or should i say reality hits in and i guess i'm just a normal cathy who have to submit to real life too...
Certain period of my life, i try to slow down a bit, find my old friends or long lost one, just to see how they are....
Spend more time with my parents, do things with them or just be at home...
start doing things that i like, taking up hobbies, but realized i havent been reading much books anymore...i used to read books like mad & i can even skip meals...
indulge myself in my favourite treat...chocolates, slowly devour the flavour of different chocolate...let the taste just tingle by taste buds...mmmm...yum...
if the road wasnt as noisy or dusty, i'd love to open the windows, let the wind blow through my hair, feel the air caressing my cheeks...hopefully get a wisp of fresh flowers...
Love the feelings that i have when i was in philippines....the carefree feel whereby you can do what you want, go where you like.....when there's nothing much to do...just walking in the streets...feel the coolness of winter air...listen to the chirping of birds or seeing the group of elderly ladies boarding the bus together and starting chatting cheerfully...it's a great sight...
It's just like seeing 2 elderly couples holding hands tightly & lovingly while they walk the parks....
Try lying on the greens with no boundaries (but make sure there's no bird poo!)....
window shop at your own leisure time...
Just enjoy and let the atmosphere sink in....during the festive periods...
Just feel...especially during christmas, is such an enjoyable feeling...the feel of warmth & christmasy......even halloween is fun, everyone just join in & be part of the event...
I wish things could be warmer here, other than the weather.....the feeling of seeing a smiley face, of saying hi to people whom you dont know without being thought as a threat...& people acknowledging the hi....It's fun & great to make someone's day...
So, start saying hi to strangers, give people a compliment if you have one today...
Make the world...a better one.....& give yourself, a better feeling & moment...startiing from now.....
Happy day everyone! & oh..dont forget....SMILE!!!!Enjoy life to its fullest...do what you always dont dare to do, say something nice that you meant to say....at least you tried....=)

-i am a soul of good and evil..

-I am a lover of life,my life is never dull and is always surprising..

-Im a very diverse person but i can easily adopt to whatever environment im into and with whoever im with...

-im workaholic...that other people don't know..

-im passionate in everything I do....especially when it comes to loving....

-I am a believer of Christ but I don't wanna be a hypocrite not to say that I'm a sinner....

-I am ambitious but I dream and wish sumting dat i knw i can achieve...

-I love my family and i LOVE deeply to the ONE I LOVE and I will fight and kill for them if I need to..i'll bet my lyf on it..

-i can be a friend to those i like..

-i think i value more one's inner personality than the outer cover of a person.. can be cocky at times but u can expect me to apologize..

-i may have own beliefs,and way of thinking.. and we may contradict each other but it wouldn't end of everything...

-i may not perfect..'coz im just human.. but i can be the best if i want to so..

-don't hate me becoz I LOVE who i am..!!!

~~LOVE~~

Tuesday,march 03,2009

Love is Like This...... Current mood: touched

~~LOVE~~

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know WHEN TO HOLD ON and WHEN TO LET GO! You know you really love someone when you want HIM or HER TO BE HAPPY, even if their happiness means that YOU'RE NOT PART OF IT. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, DON'T BE AFRAID TO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you RISK A LOVE. Love strives in hurting. If YOU DON'T GET HURT, you DON'T LEARN HOW TO LOVE. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. You cannot finish a book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to LEAVE THE PAST AS YOU TURN THE PAGES. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The GREATEST IRONY OF LOVE IS LETTING GO WHEN YOU NEED TO HOLD ON and HOLDING ON WHEN YOU NEED TO LET GO. We lose someone we love only when we are DESTINED TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On FALLING OUT OF LOVE, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time. To love is to RISK REJECTIONS, to live is to RISK DYING, to hope is to RISK FAILURE. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self, to Love is to risk not to be LOVED IN RETURN. How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be CONSTANT but not too persistent, SHARE and never be unfair, UNDERSTAND and try not to demand, HURT but never keep the pain. Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the MOST WONDERFUL FEELING.It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.Loving people means GIVING THEM THE FREEDOM, who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that these were the things that helped you grow. Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find HIS/HER way, whether it leads towards you or AWAY FROM YOU. Love is a PAINFUL TO RISK to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can HURT YOUR HEART fill you with desire and TEAR YOU APART. Only love can MAKE YOU CRY and only love knows why. If you're NOT READY TO CRY, if you're NOT READY TO TAKE THE RISK, if you're NOT READY TO FEEL THE PAIN,, then you're NOT READY TO FALL IN LOVE. There was a time in our lives when we became AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE coz every time we do, WE GET HURT, then I figured that's why it's called FALLING IN LOVE. When you decide to love, ALLOW IT TO GROW.. When you promise to love, REFUSE TO LET IT DIE...

WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE PEOPLE?

God knows we're not perfect,
but we are BEAUTIFUL.
We are all made to experience life's surprises...
Each of us has our own beauty...
It's up to us how to look for it...
We are all human...
allowed to make our own decisions...
to find what's in store for us...
to dream what we would like our future to be...
to find those people who would help us find ourselves...
to give without asking for anything...
to love and not being loved in return...
to think without really thinking...
to commit mistakes...
to learn from them...
We all have our own chaos...
and it is for us to pick things up...
God has His own time... might be, He is not done with them yet.

Leaving it all behind

One of the things i find interesting is how we are taught how to make profits and gains and i've nothing against it. But, have you ever thought why we were never taught to let go?
Sure it's easy to say the spoils are for the victors and that when we have achived everything we set out for ourselves, we will be happy. We're faced with never ending complications in life, and ever so often we're told to hold on, never let go, fight till your last breath, when the easiest and sometimes the best way to go.. is just to let go?
Ever been in a situation where you thought that maybe if you fought it better, or persisted abit longer, or if just held on longer, that everything will be over soon and things will get better?
I'm in no way condoning that everybody is better off being a quitter, but sometimes we have to come to the realization that perhaps its time to take a step back in order to gain 5 steps forward.
Even more so if we were heading in the wrong direction to begin with. The reason i reckon to be the cause of our hard headedness to push on comes from the voice within.. or rather our egos that will not bear to suffer the shame of being called a quitter. What's worst than being called a quitter is that your own mind calls you a quitter right?
I read something interesting jsut the other day pertaining to this : " think of your ego as your goofy best friend who lends moral support but doesn’t know anything "
And its worth noting that sometimes we rely on our gut feeling that we're right, or the cause is worth fighting for and in the end we come to realize that we were wrong all the while.
In ending, please don't be quitters by any means... but just be sure you're heading in the right direction before being so darn hard headed that you ignore all the warning signs.
Maybe giving up could be the best thing that you ever did.