** talking about geting hurt - again..

yea right..
what do you think is the worst part of loving someone?
getting hurt and being hurt?
definitely..
being hurt.. is when you feel like you lack oxygen in your body..
it is when you feel like all the energy in your body evaporates..
it is when you feel like you want to punch the wall,
and see your fist bleed, trying to absorb the physical pain
to ignore the gush of an emotional breakdown..
it is when you look up in the sky, so that tears won't fall..
it when you crave to have an amnesia so that
you will forget everything, everyone, specially the person
causing you that stupid pain..
it is when you think of jumping off the highest building
and just let the air fly you away from the
chaotic being you've turned yourself into..
it is when you want to eat a gallon or
two of your most favorite flavored ice cream
while watching the most dramatic movie ever..
it is when you want to speak to somebody to
share the emotional pain you're feeling,
but then on second thought, you feel like that you don't want to..
it is when you want to go to your favorite spot just to cry your heart out..
it is when you want to shout so loud but you cannot do so,
because you're just so hurt to do so..
it is when you want to have a heart and brain transplant immediately..
it is when you wanna listen to sentimental songs
just to find out that in the end, you're just dehydrating your body system..
it is when you try to convince your self to forget, move on,
and eventually divert your attention to another guy,
but you just can't, and the worse part is that you don't know why..
it's when you want to die, but it won't just happen because it just won't..
it is when you want to be numb of everything but you just can't be..
why? because, despite all of what you're going through - emotional pain, complexities, immaturities, etc.-, you still love him.. damn....huhhuhu....