Life...

there is a time when everything is peaceful,
when u do sumthing while listening to a slow song, doing sumthing you lyke in da peace and quiet and loving it even if u're very active.
there is a time when u feel dat u're invincible and happy wif wat u do,
there is a time when u feel dat u're very happy wif wat u are,
there is a time when u feel peace and quiet,
there is a time when u feel lonely and needing sumone and have a fren wif u when u pick up da phone,
there is a time when u feel ur heartbreak and listen to sum songs and cry wif it,
there is a time when u feel sad and view da life in a different point,where u sit and look outside at da rain falling or da sun shining, birds chirping and u tot, life used to be simpler, life used to be happier, life used to go da way u want it to,
there is a time when u luk at ur frens and thinks, are dy really ur fren or juz suck ups?
there is a time when u luk at ur fren and be grateful and suddenly burst into tears and everything dat went wrong in ur life juz burst out frm ur mouth and how u regret doing it, how u wish der's dis one person dat will neva break ur heart and alwiz be der for u no matter wat will be near u forever and alwiz,
there is a time when u hates ur best friend to da max and finally noes y when it's too l8 and da damage's done,
there is a time when u was left by ur best friend because of sumone else,
there is a time when u left ur best friend because of some other frens dat turns out to be unreal,
there is a time when ur best friend told sumthing else to u and sumthing else to sumone else ryte in front of u,
there is a time when ur best friend could juz blame you for everything dat is wrong in her life no matter how many times and all da things u both have go thru,
there is a time when u have your self confidence, oni to let da newly borned confidence crushed by da past events of life by ur close ones,
there is a time when you'll get hurt by ur bf/gf with ur best friend and get lafed at by em when u cries and u've got noone to turn to,
there is a time when you'll get hurt by ur bf/gf but dun have noone to turn to,
there is a time when you'll get ignored ur bf/gf for no reasons and cry everydae wifout anyone's noeing and got waved off when u try to tell sumone,
there is a time when you get hurt for da insensitivity of ur bf/gf but have noone to turn to and when u try to take things in ur own hands wif mixed emos and blurr, things juz get worst and u have noone to turn to,
there is a time when your heartbroke but noone's der and all dat's around u is insensitivity + unsupportive + suck up + wave-u-off society,
there is a time when your heartbroke and da ones dat cares are far frm u,
there is a time when your heartbroke and all u can do is cry alone till ur pillow gets wet and ur eyes swell but noone noticies,
there is a time when your heartbreaks and doz dat asks are oni pretendence,
there is a time when your heart heals and wif new realisation abt doz around u,
there is a time when u feel, all u ever really need is urself, but at da same time noes dat u're da kind dat needs frens to live,
there is a time when u feel dat u have to tell, but there's no ears around...

In JESUS name!!!

It’s natural that certain things just come, it happens then it goes...Sometimes it leave marks, give heartaches and for good reason make learnings for us to realize its purpose. But still everything happens in right time, in right place. Maybe not too easily for me to forget it but for certain time I may accept the fact that I have to face it and react as positive that I can manage it! It is only our selves who can tell how we can handle it and in God’s help we may seek for the answer in all our questions and problems.

God has been good to me in all this years. Even if everyone left me hanging, left me alone, left me broken. Still He’s the One, the only one who embraces me and reminds me that the life He gave me is still good. Among all the trials I’ve faced, would I give up now? Certainly not! For I know he keeps the journey with me. I’m not alone! So thank you Lord for being good, for giving me the courage to still hold on with you. Thank you for the strength that even I face one problem after another, I know I’ll have way out of it. I ask you Lord in Jesus name I pray to wipe away all my doubts, forgive me O’ Lord in all my sins.

And for those people who hurt me, who help me and touch my life in a way, I thank you for in all these they contributed a lot in the individual that I’m now. No regrets in everything that happened. I’m just hoping a lot in time you’ll grant my heart’s desire. I know Lord in you I can cry, only you can understand, for you are the one who knows the world that I have.

I’m not asking that this time you’ll give me the person I may hold on physically. Just give me patience to wait until it is timed for me. I keep the faith in you O’ Lord… Fill the gaps I’m longing off. In Jesus name, In Jesus name!

''A LIFE WITHOUT YOU..''

^^..A LIFE WITHOUT YOU..^^
Life hurts SO much. I hate the feeling of not being happy! I hate being not the real me. I’ve been myself to ONE person and still am to that one person. Things feel like they change. How do they REALLY think about you? Do they even think of u at all? How do they feel about u? Do they feel completely different from what they tell u so they don’t hurt your feelings? There are so many questions but to scare to ask. I’m not a drama queen and I feel if i ask that i would be becoming one. Maybe I’m just paranoid...I need to grow some boobs and just face it. Why live the life not knowing and dying still wondering Id rather have someone hate me for asking then never knowing RIGHT? I’m sure most of u would agree with me. How can u find someone so perfect and knowing u don’t EVER have a chance with that person b/c your too nice, or your supposedly to pretty for them. i don’t want to be pretty anymore if i had the choice of being pretty or being with someone u really care and would die to be with. I’d pick being with that one person. Being pretty is only skin deep. Personality is ALWAYS there. If someone could just see me for me and not about how pretty I am (which isn’t true) or just because she’s a model I want to be someone/s life, dreams, and hopes. But u sits there thinking HES COMING BACK...is he really? Just put your life with God he knows everything. I was told to give up but i have a huge gut feeling saying u cant do that yet...it takes time right? God has always been there for me. I said I would drop it but then i got butterflies maybe It’s a sign not to drop it. i just want a chance, you cant fall in love with someone in a week month or maybe not even a year. It takes so much time. i know i said it but it was just massive feelings toward someone and when i said it i went numb. Sitting there thinking OMG what did i just do. i scared u away from me. I just pray i get my 2nd chance to share with you. i miss you so much. even though you wont read this. i care about u.I hope you do everything that is right for you. But i do want you to know one thing my favorite person...That is I’m always by your side NO MATTER what. I’m here for you to cry with and share each others future dreams with one another. If I die I’m your guardian angel. ill be the first star u see in the sky every night. Make your wish and ill help u get your wish no matter what it is. I care for you SO MUCH! don’t forget it. EVER...LOVE U DAT MUCH...=(

'''HIDDEN TEARS..''

Inside her soul is weeping
but on the outside she seems collected.
Numbed from all the lonely nights when she felt neglected.
No body’s ever seen her cry they say she doesn’t know pain.
But when alone inside her room her thoughts she can’t sustain
So much hurts, and no one knows the ways in which her hearts aching
All this pain built up inside she’s reaching the point of breaking.
But forever her tears are hidden forever they are concealed
Her fake smile is her protection from emotions she try’s to shield.
Why cant this young girl breakdown why can’t people see her weak?
She searches for words within herself but silence is all that speaks.
No words seem to describe her grief so quietly she must remain
When she try’s to say how she feels she’s silenced by her shame.
Depressing is this story of a young girls lacerated heart
She want’s to remember how to cry but she doesn’t know where to start.
These hurts remain within as she’s locked in anguish’s grasp
Trying her hardest to breathe she struggles for her last gasp
All she wants is to let it go,let go of what hurts so deep
Thirsting for the ability To be able to break down and weep.
This is the story of a girl who’s held backs so many tears.
When asked why she’s become so cold
she reply’s “ because I’ve given in to my fears.”